Check out this trailer!

The business of birth.
Okay, I just saw this link on another blog, and I am so excited! I love birth! Ha ha! That has to sound so strange to some people! I just get excited talking about my experiences with birth. It is just the most emopowering, exciting, emotional, painful, powerful, exhilerating experience I've ever had. Really, words can't describe it. If I could go back and change anything about my birth experiences, the only one I'd change would be the one in the hospital. Even then, I'm grateful I had my midwife there, and a doctor who respected her opinion and my needs. The only thing I would have changed there would be a nurse who didn't know me or understand my relationship with my midwife, and ended up questioning my choice and offending my midwife. Anyway, I digress. I am just so passionate about birth, and feel that women should be educated about it and empowered by it. So many women just take what they are given without researching or questioning it.
I do believe that hospitals and doctors are needed for SOME births. But the role they have given themselves goes far beyond the neccesary. And that is not just my opinion either. There are so many studies that back it up. That's why this film being made is so exciting to me! I hope it gets seen by a lot of people.

hair

I have a love-hate relationship with my hair. Really, I should be grateful to have thick, dark, full bodied hair, and I am. At least I'm grateful to have it on top of my head. It's everywhere else that I wish it weren't that dark and thick and lovely. So I'm always hoping to find a quicker, easier and less painful way of getting rid of the everywhere else hair. Anyway, a while back, I bought some wax for face and eyebrows. I've used the strip things before, but this said it didn't need any strips, just apply and remove. I had to let my eyebrows and such grow a bit before I could use the wax. Then I started to get nervous about this stuff. And my eyebrows got bushier. Well, I finally just did it. I think it turned out okay, but I'm never buying that stuff again. It cooled way to quickly. I had to keep re-heating it. So the search for something better continues.
This is the only thing I could find that could qualify as "before." As a bonus, you get to see my cute daughter trying on daddy's new headphones! Below is the finished product.

Okay, I did it.

In general, I have tried to leave Leonora's beautiful locks alone, but they were becoming a bit overwhelming to everyone involved. No matter how I tried to keep it out of her face, she always ended up with food stuck in it and hopeless knots every morning. She was constatly trying to pull her hair out of her eyes and, more recently, her mouth. So, I finally did it. I cut her hair. It was kind of a sad thing for me to do, but it seemed neccesary. Anyway, here are a few pics:
Before:

After:


A bit of hair that I trimed off one side. It was actually longer in the back, but I didn't think to save it until after I'd dropped the longer peices in the garbage.

Christmas

Well, we had a much bigger Christmas than we planned on. We have been given so much by those around us, I don't even know where to start. We have probably recived gifts and money from over a dozen families. Most was given anonomously. I don't think it was from anyone who checks my blog regularly, but just in case, Thank-you! :) Also, a special thanks to the woman in Walmart who pointed out the hole in the back of my pants. Yes, I knew it was there. I've been "planning" on loosing a few pounds before I bought new ones, but she inspired me to use some of the generously given money on myself. Yay for new pants! Anyway, here are some pictures-maybe even a video of our Christmas.

Boo! ha,ha, you didn't know I was here, did you?

Okay, sorry it's been so long since I posted. The above picture is part of the reason why. I smashed my finger! Yep, the car door got me. Do you know how many things you need your index finger for? Especially if it's on your dominent hand. Well, I don't either, but typing is sure a lot easier with it than without. (Sorry the picture is so blury. Taking pictures is also hard to do without that finger.)

Four Weeks (disclaimer:this may be depressing!)

Four weeks ago today our daughter Renee was born still. I wish more than anything that she were still here with me.

We finally got the results to the chromosome tests they did. Renee had Turner's Syndrom and was missing an X chromosome. Turner's Syndrom is not necesarily fatal, but can have a variety of health conditions that are. The combination of complications in Renee's case was. The good news is that there is a less than 1% chance of it repeating in a future pregnancy.

It doesn't really make anything better though. She's still gone.

From Stressed to Blessed

With everything we've been going through, Aaron has had a hard time being productive at work, and unfortunatly, his is not a job that you get paid for just showing up. He has to be able to sell cars-which is something he hasn't been able to do since the first week of October. We knew we would not be getting the usual paycheck on the 5th, which meant we didn't have money for rent. However, yesterday, the general manager at the dealership called Aaron into his office to ask how we were getting by without that paycheck. Aaron told them we wouldn't have rent money, and the gm said that he would take care of that.
We have been so incredibly blessed! A little over a year ago, I remember saying in church that when we do the things that God wants us to, we will be blessed and that things will always turn out better than they would have. At the time, I remember just trying to convince myself that we were doing the right thing. We had broken our lease to move to from Seattle to Sacramento with Aaron's parents. Leonora was only 6 weeks old at the time, and I was still recovering from her birth. I was emotional and very stressed about moving in with his family. Living there-even for that short time-was very difficult for me. His parents are good people, but I come from an extremely different background than Aaron. Even though we were in more or less the same situation when we moved to Utah, I was very grateful to be back at my parent's house. Since then, we've moved out, Aaron has changed jobs, and we've said hello and goodbye to another child. We've been through a lot. Now looking back, I wouldn't change any of the choices that we've made that led us to this point.
I'm so grateful to be near my family. I don't know what we would have done if we were anywhere else. Because we are here, we were able to use a burial plot that my parents had already purchased. It saved us money, and Renee is in a place where there will always be family. Aaron's work has been incredible. They sent flowers to the hospital and collected money to help out with things. And now they are paying our rent. I'm so glad Aaron is working there. The dealership he originally started at in St George would never have done all of that. Not to mention that they don't pay anything toward family health insurance. We have already payed the maximum out of pocket after everything that the insurance has paid. I can't imagine where we would be if we'd gone through all this without health insurance. I'm just so glad that we are where we are. It's not where we planned we would be.
Another thing we weren't planning was getting pregnant. In fact, I had tried to get an IUD before we moved from Seattle because I didn't want to worry about pregnancy. When that didn't happen, I was quite upset. Now I am grateful. Although I am devistated by the loss of our baby, I cannot imagine her being left out of our family! Renee's presence in our family has caused me to think differently about how we will plan our future pregnancies. I'm not saying I won't use any birth control, but I think we will be using forms that will alow us to make a decision when we feel it is right-rather than forms that require a doctor's visit or a certain amount of time to lapse.
Now, more than ever, I believe those things I was trying to talk myself into last summer. That God does have a plan for us. He knows the things that will help us grow into who we need to be. If we follow His plan, we will be blessed.

New Shoes

So, it hasn't been very long since I bought new shoes for Leonora, but I think she went through a growth spurt just after I bought them. They've been getting pretty snug, and the elastic has been leaving little red marks. It seemed like maybe she needed some new ones. We went for something a little different. These have a soft rubber sole, leather top, and they squeak! Thankfully, you can take the squeakers out. Leonora just loves them! She was a little confused when they didn't squeak on Sunday, but still seemed to like them anyway. She loves shoes. Anyway, I got these at the What Women Want Expo here in St George, but you can get them online here.

This is a picture of our family at the cemetary after the graveside service.

Edit note: The other picture was really small, but I found a bigger version of the same thing.

Renee

This is Renee's foot and my finger.

Some pictures

Aaron and I got some pictures taken of my belly the day before the induction. I thought I'd post them for you. I'm hoping to have a couple of her hands and feet soon, but they are on my mom's camera.

Sad News about our baby

I know it's been a while since I've posted. A lot has been going on, but not the kind of news that's fun to share.
On Oct. 3rd we went in for a routine, mid-pregnancy ultra sound. We found out that our baby had a lot of problems and got a referal to a specialist. We saw the specialist a week later, and got more bad news. He told us that the baby would not live and suggested that we end the pregnancy. We talked to our bishop and thought and prayed about what to do, and decided to induce labor. We met another doctor who would be the one doing the actual induction. He did another ultra sound so he could see for himself just what was going on. In this ultra sound we found out that the baby's heart had stopped. I checked into the hospital Wednesday afternoon and started the induction. It took a long time for things to happen. Our baby was born Thursday at 1:42pm. She was 2lbs 2oz and 8inches long. We named her Renee Elizabeth. Today we had a ceramony with family that was able to be here. She'll be burried on Monday.

Silly hand

Tonight at dinner, William paused eating his macaroni to take a drink. When he finished, he asked in a suprised voice, "Where is my fork?" Well, it turned out that his fork was in his left hand. He hadn't thought to look for it there. When I pointed it out to him, he laughed and said, "Silly hand!" This made me smile. It almost made up for all of his mischief today-of course, then he had to go and get into more before bedtime! Oh well! I do enjoy his cute moments.

This is my 100th post

We should have a party! :) As my friend Stephanie pointed out, I neglected to post about William's birthday-sorry William.
William turned 4 on August 29th, and we had a small family celebration. We were going to have a larger extended family party, but unfortunatly, we all got sick. William managed to escape any serious symptoms-lucky boy-but the rest of us were not up to a party. Oh, well. He seemed happy with what he had.
Since this is my 100th post, I'm going to make it a long one! My cousin posted some cute shoes she got for her son, and I wanted to show off the ones I recently got for Leonora too! so, here they are!

Cute, aren't they? She loves these kind of shoes. These are here second pair. She's such a girl. She loves to bring her shoes to me, and get all dressed up. Too bad she doesn't like me to do her hair. I think I need to get some kind of detangler. Maybe one of those spray kind.
William's favorite thing right now is Superman. He told me today that he is superman and I am William. I told him I'm mom.
Okay, I think I'm done rambling for now!

The casts come off

Sunday afternoon, William and I left St George and drove to Layton. We stayed overnight at my sister Amber's house (which William loved), and drove back to Salt Lake on Monday for William's appointment at Primary children's hospital to get his casts off! Everything went well. William even giggled when they took the casts off. The doctor says his feet look good and gave us a prescription for a brace to wear at night. His legs and feet are sensitive from being in the casts for 5 weeks, but he seems to be doing better today. He started putting weight on his feet to walk this afternoon. He's still really careful. He stays near furniture and walls for suport, but he seems to be improving quickly. He'll see the doctor again in January when he comes to St George.

Announcing

Well, I think it may be about time to make an official announcement. Aaron and I are expecting our third child! He or she will be here sometime in February. We don't have an exact date pinned down, but I figure, that's about as close as an exact date is anyway! So, for now, the due-date is Sometime in February.

Funniest thing I've read on Ebay

This is hilarious. Half way through, I'd forgoten what it was supposed to be about! I think I'm going to check out this lady's blog! Anyway, here's the link.

Balloons

Yesterday we had dinner with Aaron at the dealership. The kids always enjoy terrorizing the customers and entertaining the salespeople. Leonora has been really into balloons lately. If she sees anything that even resembles a balloon, she gets all excited and starts shrieking in delight. The dealership almost always has balloons around, so she got a couple to take home. William had to have one as well. His was yellow. I wedged the balloons in hard to reach places in the car so they would be out of the way for safe driving. Of course, the kids didn't really care for this idea. When we got home, William started begging for his yellow balloon. I handed it back to him and he said, "Oh, my yellow balloon, I love you sooo much!" and gave it a nice big kiss. I was trying to get things gathered up from the car, so I didn't really notice when the balloon bobbed a few inches out of his reach. However, I couldn't help noticing when he said, "Come back yellow balloon! Come to Uncle William!"

A few more cute pics from Aunt Cathy's house

William's surgery

On Tuesday, Aaron, the kids, and I all packed up and left for Salt Lake for sugery on William's feet. We had to go to Primary Children's Hospital for the surgery since there are no pediatric Orthopedic surgens in St. George. We spent the night with Aaron's Aunt Cathy, who was very kind to let us stay with very little notice. We had hoped to find a hotel room closer to the hospital, but there happened to be some kind of conference going on. Check in time was 6:30 am on Wednesday. The kids enjoyed the toys while we waited for the doctors to be ready for him. We said goodbye around 8:20 for what we thought would be a couple hours. It turned out to be about twice as long as expected because of the scar tissue from his previous operations, but the surgery seems to have gone well. He spent a couple more hours in recovery before we could leave. We visited with Rachel, a college roommate of mine. It was nice to see her and her pictures from the Philipines. We spent one more night with Cathy, and were able to visit Aaron's Aunt Kris and cousin Shannon. William only woke up a couple times during the night, so we were able to get some decent sleep before leaving for home. We hit some pretty amazing rain on the way home, and even got stopped on the freeway for a bit where water had washed over the road. The highway patrol had been out cleaning up already, so it didn't take long for them to get the traffic moving again. Thankfully, William slept a lot, and didn't seem to mind the delay. Today has been pretty good. He's still on pain medication, but he's able to play. Hopefully he'll continue to heal quickly and be on his feet soon!