In this picture, Isaac is wearing one of the few things I have sewn on my own without any help. I had spent time picking out the fabric and pattern, carefully cutting the pieces, and rushed to finish it in time for his blessing. I had pressed it that morning and dressed him in it for his special day. It was the only time I actually made something for any of our children's blessings, and I was so happy with the outcome!
When he was blessed, we were in the process of moving from one apartment to another. In the week or so that followed, we spent several evenings at the old apartment getting things packed up and moved over to the new apartment. On one such evening, I had been gathering up towels, blankets and other random things that hadn't been moved over yet. We were short on boxes, and since most of what I was packing was soft, I packed it into garbage bags. I packed a bunch of Isaac's receiving blankets and his blessing outfit into one of these bags. While I had been packing, Aaron was taking a load of previously packed things to the new place. We talked on the phone, and he told me he would be on his way back soon. I finished up what I was doing and went downstairs to a neighbor's apartment where she had been watching the kids while we packed. I got into a conversation with her and was still talking when Aaron got back.
We took the kids straight to the car. Most of our conversation revolved around how tired we were and how we didn't really enjoy moving. When we got home, I thought briefly about asking Aaron if we should unload the car where I assumed he had put the bags that I had packed earlier, but we were tired, and I thought, it can wait until morning.
Can you all see what is coming here? The next morning, I went back to the old apartment. There were no bags in the apartment, no bags in the car. I called Aaron and he confirmed that he had thought the bags were trash and had thrown them away the night before. We hurried down to the dumpster, but found it completely empty. I was horrified. I called Aaron, and he felt terrible. I had lost the best of my towels, blankets for Isaac, William's Superman towel, and other random articles of clothing, but most of all, my new baby's blessing clothes that I had lovingly worked to complete. I sobbed out loud. I couldn't believe that it was gone, and what was worse was it had only spent about 12 hours in the garbage. Had I been there a couple hours earlier, I'm certain I could have rescued it.
I probably spent an hour mourning the loss of a small jacket and pair of pants. I'm sure that the stress of moving, lack of sleep that comes with having a newborn, and the hormones that were not back to normal levels, didn't help my emotional state, but I am still a little sad that I don't have that keepsake from a special time in my little boy's life.
A loss is a difficult thing to measure. It all depends on our own experiences and perspective on life. Is this a monumental loss? No. I think that this could be considered a relatively small loss. My life has and will continue in a relatively unchanged manner. But it was important to me. It's something that I will always remember and miss.
