Showing posts with label Leonora. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Leonora. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

This Is Hard

Just in case you were wondering.

I am home right now. I drove 4 1/2 hours today so I could see Leonora perform in her first dance recital. Aaron is still in SLC with Isaac. Tomorrow, I will be looking into housing in St George, doing a little food shopping, picking up some Tupperware flyers, and driving back to Salt Lake. I am tired. I feel like I should be saying good night to Isaac. I miss having my husband with me. I was unexpectedly overwhelmed by all the people and noise at the dance recital. I was wondering before it started if I would make it through the whole thing.

But I know that if I had stayed with Isaac and Aaron, I would feel terrible for missing Leonora's recital. I would be missing her and William. I would still be exhausted.

I am glad I got to see Leonora dance.

I feel so torn between here and there. I am really looking forward to having us all together again. I'm sure that will bring it's own challenges, but we should be together. Things are better when we are together.

Friday, March 18, 2011

My miracles

*This is the first chance I've had to blog this. I wrote it on the morning of his second surgery, before we knew he would be having surgery that night.

My children are all miracles.

William was born with stubborn clubbed feet (feet that are bent inward) and a stubborn introverted personality to match it. In spite of-or perhaps because of this personality and physical limitation that he was born with, he walks, runs, plays and fights like every normal 7 year old. What he lacks in physical ability, he more than makes up for in mental ability. he has always been a very bright boy who excells in math and science and has a thirst for knowledge in all areas. His miracle is his lack of disabilities.

Leonora was born perfect. She was like a beautiful porcelin doll. I cannot even begin to count the numorous peoplew who would pause in grocery stores and other public places to tell me how beautiful my baby was and how doll-like she was. Once, an older lady in Walmart nearly ran me over with one of those electric riding carts. She thought that Leonora was a doll in a carseat until she saw Leonora move. She was so shocked, she swerved and nearly collided with my cart! Shortly before her 2nd birthday, Leonora got pneumonia. Our whole family had had the flu, but as the rest of us got better, Leonora continued to worsen. She was admitted to the local hospital and then lifeflighted to Primary Children's Hospital. Her combined hospital stays were a full two weeks. We were so worried for her during that time, but she fought through it and was blessed to avoid more serious srgery to remove a part of her lung. Today she has an incredible amount of energy. Sometimes it drives us all a little crazy, but she is also full of love. Her healing from the pneumonia, her high energy, and her boundless love for all those she meets (and often those she hasn't) are Leonora's miracle.

When we found out that we were expecting another child just after Leonora's 1st birthday, we were exited and happy. I felt this baby's movements earlier and stronger than with either of my previous pregnancies. At about 20 weeks gestation, Aaron and I went to the hospital for the standard, mid-pregnancy ultrasound. This is when most people find out the gender of their baby. It's something moms anticipate and look forward to. For us, it was the first chance to see our baby. Because of our issues with William's feet, clubbed feet was at the top of my list of concerns. Our baby showed no signs of this deformity, but something more serious. She had a cyst at the back of her head, and her body was retaining fluids. Her kidneys had already ceased to function. At or first look at our baby, her time on this Earth was coming to a close. Her heart continued to beat for about 2 1/2 weeks before her sweet spirit returned to Heavenly Father. At about 23 weeks gestation, the doctor induced labor, and out sweet angel was born. Her birth should have been a great time of joy. Instead, it was our greatest loss. It is impossible to explain the sorrow of loosing a child to anyone who hasn't experienced it. I feel it is the greatest blow a parent can experience. Despite this heartache that consumed my life for many months, I feel that our angel, Renee, is a great miracle in my life. Having greater understanding of this sorrow has given me greater empathy when those I know have lost children. It has proven that I can get trhough more than I thought I ever could. It eventually gave me strength. Renee means "reborn." I believe that not only will she be reborn into a new and perfect body fit for such a strong spirit, but her presance in our family has been a sort of familial rebirth. She changed how we function as a family-for the better. I believe she was given that body because she was one of the few spirits who could suport it for that long. Her condition is a common cause for early miscarraiges, so reaching the point of having a fully formed body is unusual. She was a miracle.

About 6 months after we lost Renee, we found that we were expecting again. There were a lot of mixed emotions about that news, but in general, I was happy about it. We had extra tests that we hadn't had before just to give us reassurance that everything was okay. A few months after the 1st anneversary of Renee's birth and death, Isaac was born. He had perfect timing! He was born early (unlike my other children), and easily. I was overcome with joy and relief the first time I held him in my arms. I sobbed and cried and held him close. I didn't want to miss anything about him-the way he looked, sounded, smelled, and the weight of him in my arms. We picked the name Isaac because it means "laughter," and his middle name Nathan (after his two uncles) means "gift." He was our gift of laughter, sunshine, joy, and hope. He continued to live up to his name. I often say he was born smiling. i think I recorded is first responsive smile (one that was made in reaction to my own smile) at about 3 weeks old. As he grew, he developed normally. There was nothing exceptional about when he first walked or said his first word, yet his pleasant deminor, quick smile, beautiful eyes, and adorable dimples, made him exceptional in every way. As soon as he could walk, he became my biggest helper. He always wanted to sweep and vacuum with me and help me with dishes and laundry. With Isaac, house work could even be fun! He has been my biggest miracle. He gave me everything and more than I had lost when Renee's heart stopped beating. My other children have always brought me joy, but giving happiness seemed to be Isaac's life mission.
Today is Monday, March 7th, 2011. We have been in a hospital since I took Isaac to the ER on Friday night. He had lost movement in his right arm and leg. He had been getting over a cold, so it was originally thought that he may have pneumonia, menengitis, or both. When he was getting worse, the doctor decided he needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital. By the time we arrived at Children's, Isaac had not been moving much at all for sometime. His movement and responsiveness continued to decrease. It was decided that this was a nuerological issue and to find out for sure what was going on, he needed an MRI. They told me it would be about 2 hours for the MRI. About 3 1/2 hours later, he finally returned and I was given bad news. He had an AVM burst (a malformation of blood vessels that causes them to be weak). His AVM was located on his upper spinal cord which is why it caused his immobility. Emergency surgery was done to relieve swelling of his spinal cord. I was told that there was a significant possibility that he could bleed during surgery and that if there were bleeding, there may not be any way to stop it. As a mother who has lost one child, I understood too well what they were telling me. We were told he'd made it through with only minor complications when his heart rate and breathing slowed to extremely low levels. When we recieved the news that he made it through, there was a huge sigh of relief from me and my friends and family present in the room. I felt we had recieved another miracle. Now he lays in bed. He occasionally opens his eyes, turns his head and has had some small movements in his arms. These too are small miracles; however, there is no gaurentee that he will be able to do basic things on his own ever again. Even breathing on his own may never be a possibility. The good news is, he has no brain damage. It is only in his upper spine, which affects all the nerves that control his motor function.
Right now, we are praying for a bigger miracle than we have yet recieved. I deparately want my little boy to be whole again. I know that through God all things are possible if it is in accordance to his plan. I can only hope and pray that is plan and my desires match up. I also know that miracles take faith it takes. Please join your faith and prayers with ours for the recovery of Isaac. Pray for us and his doctors to know how to help him. Pray for us all to have the strength to get trhough this and to accept the outcome-whatever it is. Pray for us to see and accept God's plan for our family. Every prayer and good thought sent our way helps. We are so appreciative of all the love, support, and prayers we have received. They keep us going. Please keep sending them. Thank you so much.


*Since I wrote this, there has been one more surgery to remove the AVM. We have been very blessed to have amazing doctors, nurses, and others to take care of Isaac. He has been more alert. Some days are better than others, but he has smiled and moved his arms more. Today he will have a Tracheotomy to help him breath. He has been on a ventilator with a tube in his mouth, and we are anxious and excited to have this procedure done. hopefully he will be able to start intensive rehabilitation in a few days.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Fun Run!

I have been wishing I had pictures for this post. I should get into the habit of taking my camera with me.

I took the kids to our primary's fun run on Saturday. I wasn't really sure how they would do-especially William, who tends to be slow and often has difficulty running very far. But they were excited about it anyway. Leonora ran first with the other 3 and 4 year-olds. She was not the fastest kid out there, but she made the whole 1/4 mile and only stopped once when her friend fell. She's such a sweetheart-when she wants to be! She had to make sure that Courtney was okay, and then she finished her run. While William's group ran their 1/2 mile, Leonora got her drink and donut. William quickly fell behind the other kids. I wondered if he was going to make it all the way around, but he did great! One of the older kids ran along with him and kept him going. He slowed down toward the end, and was one of the last to finish, but he did it! I was proud of him. Then while I was helping him get his refreshments, Leonora disappeared. I started looking around for her, and realized she had taken off with the third and oldest group of kids. These kids were running a full mile. Of course she didn't keep up with them, but I watched my not-quite-four year old out there trotting along! She ran a full loop around the park-about 1/3 mile-paused briefly to give me the medal that she got for completing her race, and was off again! I cut across the loop and told her that the race was over now and that she could go play on the playground for a little bit. She cracks me up! This child has so much energy! I just don't know what to do with her! There were no special awards besides the medal that each kid got for completing the run, but if there had been, I think William would have gotten the "Slow but steady" award, and Leonora would have to get "The Energizer Bunny" award! heehee!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

In the month of May...

There has been soooo much going on here this month. It's been crazy. There are a lot of things I'd love to do longer posts about, but I just don't know when I will get a chance. Instead, here's a timeline to show what our month has been like!

On May 3rd, Isaac turned 4 months. He is huge! or at least the muscles in my back and arms tink so!


Of course, the other kids needed a picture too.
On May 4th, we packed up for a little "vacation."


On the way, we stopped at a park to let the kids stretch their legs.


That evening, we arrived at my sister's house. She was kind enough to let me invite some of my college roommates for a little reunion.



The next day, we took the kids to the zoo. William was so excited to see the elephants-until we got a little closer. Then he was scared that they would "get" him and refused to stand where I could get a good picture of him and the elephants. We did get to watch them eat though. It was a lot of fun watching them pick up whole watermelons with their trunks.




William decided he likes giraffes better.


The next day was not as much fun. William had to have surgery on his feet. This was his 4th surgery for clubbed feet. Not so much fun, but he was a real trooper. He spent the night in the hospital and was released the next day. We spent that afternoon and evening visiting some of Aaron's family. They were kind enough let us stay the night. I guess I was too tired to take pictures... We arrived back at home the evening of the 8th.
With everything going on, we had pretty much forgotten Mother's day, but I did buy myself some chocolate dipped strawberries and shared them with my mom. Aaron caught something and spent the day in bed.
Tuesday, May 12th was a fun day! Sort of...
For the fun part, I got my haircut! Whoo hoo! The heat here has been breaking records, and I just couldn't handle it any more. So, here's the before...




And After!




The less fun part of the day was driving for 4 hours because William had to go back to Primary Children's to have his casts changed. We slept at my aunt's house and got up early the next moring to head to the hospital. William was actually pretty good about most of it. He was a bit grumpy about not getting breakfast, but he was getting anethesia and had to have an empty stomach. He was released by noon and we stopped to have lunch with my sister before heading home again.
The following day, May 14th, Isaac had his 4 month check-up. He weighed 17lbs 3.5oz (90%) and is 25 inches tall (50%). He has a rash on his face that I thought was just dry skin, but hadn't been able to clear up. The doctor thinks he is allergic to something that his skin is in contact with. So we will be trying some different laundry soap to see if that helps. Other than that, he is a happy, healthy boy!
Today, May 19th, is Leonora's birthday. Hopfully I'll get a chance to post more about that later!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Summer Haircuts!

Well, it's that time of year. The weather is getting warmer, and my kids needed haircuts, so the other night, (almost) everyone got one! Leonora's ended up being a little shorter than I intended, but she always looks cute anyway. Next was William, who hates the buzzer, but got it for a short summer 'do, and last was Aaron, who just got a trim, and dosn't like me taking pictures of him anyway. Maybe I'll get him later.

Now, I think it's my turn!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Easter Fun

This Easter we had a cold going around our family. And it rained. So our kids missed out on the usual egg hunt at my grandmother's home. Instead, we stayed home and decorated some cookies! First we had to get our suplies together: Frosting, food coloring, knives for spreading, and of course, cookies!



Next, it was time to frost those cookies! William chose blue. Unlike pink, purple, and green, blue is a "Superman" color.



Next we pulled out the sprinkles for a little added decor!



And presto! Easter cookies! Aren't they lovely?

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Leonora and the butterfly

This is Leonora's wind-up butterfly.



She found it one day when we were packing and cleaning our old apartment.




She was making the butterfly fly.



I wish I'd done a video, but here are some cute pictures!



Monday, December 01, 2008

Visit to the midwife

Hi Everyone! We're went somewhere very important today! Mom took along the camera to document our experience. Here we are all ready to go to Mom's midwife appointment!


We love going to the midwife! She's so nice! Here's her house. We'll have one more appointment here in two weeks and then she'll start coming to our house!
We like her house because she has toys! The coloring books are a big hit with us! We colored while Mom did some other stuff. We don't really know what that's all about, but it gives us some time to have fun before we get down to business!
After Mom talks to the midwife for a few minutes, it's our turns to help! There's this great little squeazy thing that checked Mom's blood pressure. It was 110/70. I guess that's good.

Next came the measuring. Mom's belly sure has gotten big lately! We think our brother must be anxious to see us because he sure has been growing a lot! The midwife says he's about 2 weeks ahead!


Next we listened to his heartbeat. Leonora is our professional button pusher, so that's her job. This machine makes the coolest noises ever!

After that's all over, Mom talks some more to the midwife. They talk a lot, but we get to play some more, so it's okay with us. Then it's time to clean up!
And one final peice of business: trying on the Spiderman mask! Yep, it fits!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Trick-or-treating

Hey, kids!



Who? Us?


Trick or Treat!

Friday, October 03, 2008

Something fun


This is Leonora's Halloween costume. Do you know who she is?

Monday, August 04, 2008

Leonora counts



Okay, she's not the most accurate counter ever, but it's cute! For some reason, she never remembers 5. 1 and 10 are hit and miss.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I guess she does listen

Today I was watching Leonora play in her play kitchen. She was opening and closing the doors of her "oven" and "dishwasher," putting things in and out, and talking to herself. Then she turned around to me and said, "It's hot!" Ha, ha, I'm always worried about her walking into the kitchen when I've got the oven open or reaching up when the stove is hot. It's nice to know she's listening, and fun to see her imitate me.

Friday, July 11, 2008

To cut, or not to cut (and how much?)

I'm thinking about cutting Leonora's hair. It's a little past her shoulders right now and is constantly in her face. Even when I put it up, some strand always seems to find it's way to her mouth. She is always pushing it back, just to have it fall in her eyes again. It's always getting tangled or getting food in it and seems to attract lint for some reason. I'm seriously considering a major chop. But I thought I'd get other opinions before taking such drastic measures.

So, I could cut it like I did last time:


But I was thinking about this type of a look:


Or, I could leave it like it is (this is what it looks like today-after brushing):
What do you think? I'm adding a poll in the right hand column, but comments are also welcome!

Monday, July 07, 2008

What we did today

William has this book of Disney stories. A few of the stories have craft ideas that go along with them, and last night, he decided he wanted to make "Under the Sea Pasta Creatures" from the Little Mermaid story. So today we went and got some colorful pasta to make our sea scapes. Here are the results:

William's blue ocean



Leonora's Yellow Sea



And my Pinkish purple ocean



I was trying to draw some fish fins around some of the shell. I'm not sure that they look much like fish though! Leonora helped me with mine.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Okay, this is pretty far overdue, but I finally got Leonora's birthday pictures from the camera to the computer. Here's a video from her party.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Long post- what my kids are up to

So I realized I've been kind of a slacker with posting about my kids. I have some pictures from Leonora's birthday party that I haven't posted-unfortunately, they will have to wait a little longer. Aaron borrowed my camera for work and hasn't returned it. Probably should have uploaded those pics a while ago, but like I said, I've been kind of a slacker. But I thought maybe I should give you all a little update anyway.
William's been excelling at being 4. I think he's trying to get as much mischief in before his 5th birthday as he possibly can. Last Sunday, Aaron ended up bringing him home from church because he was out running in the hallway when he was supposed to be in primary. I was in nursury and didn't find out until after church. This week he must have done better-at least he wasn't out in the hallway when he wasn't supposed to be. This brings me to one of his favorite things to do-run. I cannot stop this kid from running! He spends half the day running laps up and down the hallway in our appartment. I wish we had a yard to send him out to. Of course, his other favorite thing is still Superman. He talked to his grandpa on the phone yesterday. He told him happy Father's Day, and then spent 20 minutes talking about how Superman can fly, he's strong, he has super-eyes and ears, etc. Funny boy.
Leonora has been potty training. Some days she does really well, others not so well. We are almost out of all pull-up and diapers, but I think I'm going to have to get more for bedtime anyway. When she's awake, she's pretty good, but, so far, a dry night is pretty rare. She also had her 2 year old check up last week. She has gained back all the weight she lost in the hospital and more! She's right at 50% for her height but about 75% for weight. The doctor said we don't have to worry about making her finish everything on her plate. The thing is, it always seems to me like she's hardly eating anything! I hope she's just saving up for her next growth spurt. Oh, and she still has a big head-in the 85th %. She got 4 shots- 2 in each leg-and spent the rest of the day and some of the next crying about her "owies." Poor girl!
Well, I'm sure there are other things I could write about, but those are the "big" things going on right now! Oh-I just remembered-Leonora is also having major issues going to sleep when she should, but that could make for a really long post. I'll have to complain about that later. :)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Mamma, Dadda, Baby

Last night, Aaron and I had a little treat. Leonora, (who should have been in bed, but she took a late nap yesterday) helped us eat it. She was so cute when she asked, we just had to give in! She would say, "Mamma, Dadda, shoclate?" Dadda was the one with the spoon, so I told her, not "Mamma", "Dadda." She then pointed to Aaron and said, "Dadda," pointed to me and said, "Mamma," then pointed to herself and said, "Uhm Bebe." We laughed, which gave her enough reason to repeat the performance a couple more times. (This is one of those moments I wish I had on video-my description just doesn't do it justice.) Since she's turned two, I've been trying to convince William that she's not really a baby anymore, but she knows she's the baby around here!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Birthday pictures

We got Leonora's pictures taken yesterday! Here are a few of my favorite shots.



Happy Birthday, Leonora! (a day late-oops)


A long two weeks after her due date, Leonora finally made her appearence in this world. My midwife and mom were telling me they saw lots of hair as she was born, but I was still surprised when I saw that beautiful, hair-covered head! She was a sweet baby, even if a bit more demanding than her brother had been! As a two year old, she still is-more than ever actually! But she's still a loving little girl. She loves to snuggle with mommy when she's tired, and runs to daddy when he comes home from work. She even loves her big brother and wants to be just like him-except prettier!
Happy Birthday Leonora! I love you!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

obligatory post

Hello, this is probably going to be very uniteresting, but I realized how long it's been since I posted, and thought I should post something! So here it is. I haven't fallen off a cliff or anything, I've just been boring! :) or bored? Next week will be busy, but hopefully I'll have time to post a little. It's Leonora's birthday next week! Yay! so I should at least get pictures of her on there sometime! :)