Four weeks ago today our daughter Renee was born still. I wish more than anything that she were still here with me.
We finally got the results to the chromosome tests they did. Renee had Turner's Syndrom and was missing an X chromosome. Turner's Syndrom is not necesarily fatal, but can have a variety of health conditions that are. The combination of complications in Renee's case was. The good news is that there is a less than 1% chance of it repeating in a future pregnancy.
It doesn't really make anything better though. She's still gone.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Saturday, November 03, 2007
From Stressed to Blessed
With everything we've been going through, Aaron has had a hard time being productive at work, and unfortunatly, his is not a job that you get paid for just showing up. He has to be able to sell cars-which is something he hasn't been able to do since the first week of October. We knew we would not be getting the usual paycheck on the 5th, which meant we didn't have money for rent. However, yesterday, the general manager at the dealership called Aaron into his office to ask how we were getting by without that paycheck. Aaron told them we wouldn't have rent money, and the gm said that he would take care of that.
We have been so incredibly blessed! A little over a year ago, I remember saying in church that when we do the things that God wants us to, we will be blessed and that things will always turn out better than they would have. At the time, I remember just trying to convince myself that we were doing the right thing. We had broken our lease to move to from Seattle to Sacramento with Aaron's parents. Leonora was only 6 weeks old at the time, and I was still recovering from her birth. I was emotional and very stressed about moving in with his family. Living there-even for that short time-was very difficult for me. His parents are good people, but I come from an extremely different background than Aaron. Even though we were in more or less the same situation when we moved to Utah, I was very grateful to be back at my parent's house. Since then, we've moved out, Aaron has changed jobs, and we've said hello and goodbye to another child. We've been through a lot. Now looking back, I wouldn't change any of the choices that we've made that led us to this point.
I'm so grateful to be near my family. I don't know what we would have done if we were anywhere else. Because we are here, we were able to use a burial plot that my parents had already purchased. It saved us money, and Renee is in a place where there will always be family. Aaron's work has been incredible. They sent flowers to the hospital and collected money to help out with things. And now they are paying our rent. I'm so glad Aaron is working there. The dealership he originally started at in St George would never have done all of that. Not to mention that they don't pay anything toward family health insurance. We have already payed the maximum out of pocket after everything that the insurance has paid. I can't imagine where we would be if we'd gone through all this without health insurance. I'm just so glad that we are where we are. It's not where we planned we would be.
Another thing we weren't planning was getting pregnant. In fact, I had tried to get an IUD before we moved from Seattle because I didn't want to worry about pregnancy. When that didn't happen, I was quite upset. Now I am grateful. Although I am devistated by the loss of our baby, I cannot imagine her being left out of our family! Renee's presence in our family has caused me to think differently about how we will plan our future pregnancies. I'm not saying I won't use any birth control, but I think we will be using forms that will alow us to make a decision when we feel it is right-rather than forms that require a doctor's visit or a certain amount of time to lapse.
Now, more than ever, I believe those things I was trying to talk myself into last summer. That God does have a plan for us. He knows the things that will help us grow into who we need to be. If we follow His plan, we will be blessed.
We have been so incredibly blessed! A little over a year ago, I remember saying in church that when we do the things that God wants us to, we will be blessed and that things will always turn out better than they would have. At the time, I remember just trying to convince myself that we were doing the right thing. We had broken our lease to move to from Seattle to Sacramento with Aaron's parents. Leonora was only 6 weeks old at the time, and I was still recovering from her birth. I was emotional and very stressed about moving in with his family. Living there-even for that short time-was very difficult for me. His parents are good people, but I come from an extremely different background than Aaron. Even though we were in more or less the same situation when we moved to Utah, I was very grateful to be back at my parent's house. Since then, we've moved out, Aaron has changed jobs, and we've said hello and goodbye to another child. We've been through a lot. Now looking back, I wouldn't change any of the choices that we've made that led us to this point.
I'm so grateful to be near my family. I don't know what we would have done if we were anywhere else. Because we are here, we were able to use a burial plot that my parents had already purchased. It saved us money, and Renee is in a place where there will always be family. Aaron's work has been incredible. They sent flowers to the hospital and collected money to help out with things. And now they are paying our rent. I'm so glad Aaron is working there. The dealership he originally started at in St George would never have done all of that. Not to mention that they don't pay anything toward family health insurance. We have already payed the maximum out of pocket after everything that the insurance has paid. I can't imagine where we would be if we'd gone through all this without health insurance. I'm just so glad that we are where we are. It's not where we planned we would be.
Another thing we weren't planning was getting pregnant. In fact, I had tried to get an IUD before we moved from Seattle because I didn't want to worry about pregnancy. When that didn't happen, I was quite upset. Now I am grateful. Although I am devistated by the loss of our baby, I cannot imagine her being left out of our family! Renee's presence in our family has caused me to think differently about how we will plan our future pregnancies. I'm not saying I won't use any birth control, but I think we will be using forms that will alow us to make a decision when we feel it is right-rather than forms that require a doctor's visit or a certain amount of time to lapse.
Now, more than ever, I believe those things I was trying to talk myself into last summer. That God does have a plan for us. He knows the things that will help us grow into who we need to be. If we follow His plan, we will be blessed.
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