Q&A: Kris's Question

Aaron's aunt Kris (aka "the Clayton Clan") asked this question:

Q: Have you given any thought to the fact that of the two babies that have died in our family (Lund) that they were both in Wayne's family?

A: So, this is an interesting question for me! For those who don't know, Aaron's parents also lost a baby. He would be about a year younger than Aaron and was about the same gestational age as Renee. His name is Nathen. Aaron's mom Jenny had had a lot of bleeding during her pregnancy. I think it was from placental abruption. My understanding is that she was at a lot of risk because of the bleeding, which is why they allowed her to go into labor. Nathen was born live. I asked Aaron and he thought he continued breathing for about 15 minutes. At the time of Renee's birth/death, we did talk with Wayne and Jenny quite a bit about similarities and differences between our two experiences. The timing was almost exactly the same, but the causes were very different. While Jenny's pregnancy had been very difficult and dangerous for her, mine had been one of the least eventful. I had no symptoms of anything being wrong other than measuring a little off. Nathen had no genetic problems. He was born perfect, just too young to survive. Renee had a lot of physical problems which caused her to look different than a normal, healthy baby. Not like she had a third arm or anything, but she was very swollen.

I'm not really sure why it happened the way it did. Maybe it's just conicidence that we both had similar experiences. Or maybe it happened this way so we could empathize with each other. Maybe someone is supposed to learn something. Maybe we're all supposed to learn something different. I've learned we each deal with our own losses very differently. Aaron and I cope differently, as have Wayne and Jenny. Although they cannot make our loss easier, it is nice to know we aren't the only ones who have had to go through this.