I was sitting in the local WIC office today waiting to add Isaac to the program. A worker came by to make sure I had what I needed to add him, and asked if I had his hospital bracelet for identification. I explained that he had been born at home, but I had his birth record with his name, birthday and my midwife's signature. This satisfied their requirements, and the worker checked with the other women in the waiting room and then left the area. Shortly afterward, one mother with her own newborn asked me about my homebirth. "Were you afraid that something would go wrong?" she asked. I stopped for a moment to think if I had had any such fears during my labor. "No" was the only answer I could give. So many people say to me, "I could never have a homebirth." They site reasons such as wanting pain medication, fears of complications, or having to clean up the mess afterwards. Some people have very good reasons for birthing in hospitals, and I rarely try to convince anyone of how to give birth unless they ask for my opinion. Those who are at a higher risk for complications should be where they can get appropriate care-usually at a hospital under the care of an obstetrician.
When people ask me if I have fears of things going wrong, ironically, the first thing I picture is being in a hospital. I picture an IV in my arm and moniters on my belly. I picture nurses and doctors coming and going and making decisions that will change the outcome of my child's birth. As long as I am able to stay home, I have nothing to be afraid of. It's when all those interventions that most people consider a normal part of giving birth come into play that I start feeling afraid.
I don't think all interventions are bad. C-sections can be very good, if they save a baby and/or mother from a truly dangerous situation. There are times when a mother's labor should be induced. Episiotomies are something I personally find more difficult to justify, but I supose there are cases where they may be necesary. But for me, needing those things is a sign that my body isn't functioning the way it should.
I have to wonder why it is that many mothers who have their babies in hospitals are afraid, while those I know who have had homebirths consider birth to be normal. Could it be that there is more to fear in a hospital? I read and listen to typical hospital birth stories, and if that was my only experience with birth, I'd be afraid too.
Oh, and as for the mess of birth being an issue, I didn't clean up anything after Isaac's birth. The midwife started a load of laundry and Aaron later switched it to the dryer. Everything else was taken care of.
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All the books I read and all the friends I had were advocates of either home birth, unmedicated birth, or birth with a midwife. Consequently, I was worried about all the 'stuff' they supposedly do in the hospital, like making you stay in a bed when you want to walk, or forcing you to do stuff.
But when I was there, I found that most of the things they say are horrible about hospitals, really aren't true anymore today....though they may have been fifty years ago.
I had to have a c-section with Elora because her heart rate kept dropping below 20 beats per minute, she wasn't even close to descending (even though I was fully dilated), etc.
I was mad at first, but now I'm glad I was somewhere where things worked out.
With my second, my doctor was very supportive of my birthing wishes, and no one forced me to have a c-section.
Having read all those books, I am supportive of those who choose those other birth methods, but as for myself, I will probably continue to have complications due to my physiology (Josh was almost a c-section) and I'd like to be where there is help.
However.....I'll be at a different hospital this time, which DOES worry me a bit, because I don't know if it'll be the same as in Washington.
I think you may hear more about hospital deliveries being scary, because those who homebirth seem to be better educated about childbirth, while those who have hospital births often trust the doctors completely and don't do any research of their own.
Just my two cents....sorry it was so long!
I really do think that when interventions are necessary, they are good. I mean, there's a reason c-sections were invented. They can be lifesaving.
What bothers me is people who have not read the books and believe birth to be dangerous and frightening. I've been part of an online forum with other mom's who are/were due in January. I've been reading a lot of birth stories in the last month. It's the ones who get their epidural, suddenly have labor stall (a common side effect of an epidural), get pitocin to increase contractions, and end up with a distressed baby and an episiotomy so that the doctor can pull the baby out quickly. Those are the ones that make me cringe.
I have also read a few who had wonderful natural births in hospitals. Some were able to get up, walk around, use water, and birth in positions other than laying in bed, but those have been the exceptions.
I respect those who understand the pros and cons of both and make educated decisions about what is best for them. I just get tired of the assumptions that so many people have.
You guys sure have some cute kiddos! Congratulations with Isaac- he is adorable. I hope everything is going well for you guys.
I only get mad at people who have their labor started by the doctor when they don't need to, or who elect to have c-sections when they don't have to.
We were going to do Elora all natural, and I had no pain meds until the actual c-section. With Joshua they recommended an epidural because if they had to go to a c-section last minute and I didn't have one already, there was the possibility of having to completely put me out. No way was I having that.
I knew all about epidurals stalling labor, but in both my cases, I was already at a nine or ten when it was given, so I wasn't worried.
After my birth experiences, I've tried not to judge others experiences because 1. I wasn't there and don't know all the circumstances, and 2. people get really offended when one makes judgement calls on their choices, or generalizations about everyone who made the same choice as them.
Several people made me feel bad for letting them take Elora with a c-section, and really it was the best choice.
I get mad at both Hospital/drug advocates as well as home birth/natural advocates when they start making generalizations.
Not you...I'm just sayin!
okay, sorry to monopolize the comments, but this is something I am always thinking about when I'm pregnant.
I think what happens is, whatever side we are on,we get offended.
If someone says they're scared of homebirth (or for someone else, if they say that of hospitals) we feel they are making a judgment call on our decisions.
Then we get all defensive, and feel we have to say everything thats wrong with the OTHER way of giving birth, when in fact, the only important thing is that the baby is safe.
I was freaked out about episeotomies and all that stuff before my vaginal birth, but honestly, I'm not even sure if I was given one or not. And it wasn't scary. And really...some of us are going to have birthing injuries whether there is one or not (I think I had third degree tearing, which was nothing compared to healing from a c-section.) Other people can have a baby in minutes with no problems, and they wonder whats wrong with everyone else. I can think of someone who was in our ward like that.
Even when I was planning to do Elora's "natural" birth at the hospital, I would never ever want to have a baby at home. Not because I think its wrong, or bad, or dangerous (in many cases), but to me it is scarier to be at home with something so intense happening, than to have the possibility of all those things that were mentioned.
So yeah, we get offended, and we judge in our defense.
I always try to listen to other's birth stories without judging their experience...whether or not they were educated. My sister refused to read any of the birthing books I mentioned, because to her, it was scarier to read about all the natural body stuff than it was to just go to the hospital and have the baby. And she was fine.
I try not to judge others birth stories. And you are right, what has happened is already done. Most people have their mind made up about birth and won't change it anyway.
My post was mostly just a vent because I get these questions whenever someone hears the words homebirth or natural birth.
I do think that the health and safety of the baby and mother are the most important considerations, but I think that how the mother feels about the birth is also very important. If it weren't, there wouldn't be so many styles of giving birth.
I have learned the best thing to do is keep my mouth shut about my birth plans unless I feel compelled to say something, It isn't just birth people get offended about, we are vegetarians and homeschoolers and the comments are never ending. We don't make comments to them, but people are afraid of the unknown. Deep down our spirit knows what is right, and having a birth the way the Lord intended it, versus electing to have your scheduled c-section because you are afraid of pain, is not living in harmony with the way the Lord intended things. I figure that's why people get the way they do. I think people should be respected for their choices, because not everyone is ready to do things differently.
kara, nice appartment
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