Still here

I thought that you'd like to know how things are going. Leonora is doing better. They took the tube out of her chest yesterday afternoon and it looks like things are going fine there. She is doing so much better, but still can't go home until her fever is gone for at least 24 hours. She also needs to eat and drink better, but I think she'll do those things better when she's out of the hospital.
The stay here has been very tiring. I feel really ready to go home. And now that I'm not as worried about Leonora getting through this, I'm realizing how much I miss William. Thankfully, he's been having fun with his aunts and uncle at grandma's house, and seems to be doing fine. This has been such a long drawn out proccess. I'm just exhasted in every way possible. I just want her to get better so we can all go home and get back to normal-whatever that is!

quick update

Leonora is still at Primary Children's. She has to go 24 hours without fever, eat, and get her chest tube (that's draining the fluid) out before we can talk about going home. They are considering surgery to remove the infected part of her lung if her fever doesn't go down.
On the upside, she is feeling better. She's sitting up more and playing some. That is encouraging. She seems more like herself.

Still sick

Well, things have not been going well. I'm in Salt Lake. Leonora was Life flighted to the hospital here. She just was not getting better. She has some fluid in her chest but outside her lung. The antibiotics and her own antibodies couldn't get to it, so they put a tube through her ribs to drain the fluid out. It will take a few days for the fluid to drain and then they'll keep her for another day or two to make sure everything is going well. Hopefully the fluid will continue to drain. If not, they'll have to do surgery. She has not really been looking better. She's also having problems digesting the stuff they've been feeding her through a tube. Poor baby has so many tubes and wires attached to her! She's so miserable! I really hope she'll turn around soon. I'd be grateful for anyone's prayers.

Sick, sick, sick

We've all been sick with the flu. Guess this would have been the year to get a flu shot. Most of us are starting to feel better, but Leonora has just gotten worse. She was not doing well at all yesterday, so I called the Doctor. He met us at his office to check her out and sent us straight to the hospital. They did x-rays and found that she has a pretty bad case of pnemonia on top of the flu. The doctor said to expect her to stay at the hospital for 2-3 days.

Take the Quiz here!

I saw this on Tearese's blog (who got it from Heidi's blog). I love Jane Austin! I got her complete works a few months ago. It took me awhile, but I finished Sense and Sensability and started on Pride and Predjudice. Anyway, I don't know if this is totally acurate, but it was fun anyway!

William's Artwork and zyx's

I found William writing on his magna doodle thing today and was impressed with his penmenship. So I took a picture. He said it was XYZ and that it said "Dinosaur." Obviously he hasn't quite gotten spelling perfected. He wrote it backwards, and I'm not sure if I should be concerned about that or not. In any case, I thought the letters looked pretty good!

After having that picture taken, he wanted pictures of all his doodles for the next hour or so. He drew a picture of Superman...

Batman(notice the bat ears on top)...

and I think this is the Flash.

Even though Superman is probably the best likeness, Flash is my personal favorite! He's a naturally artistic kid. I hope he keeps it up for a long time.

What do you think?

I got my hair cut today. I meant to take a "before" picture but forgot. Anyway, here's the finished product!

I've been meaning to post the last few days, but things have been busy. So, I'm posting now to tell you that Leonora went potty on her potty chair! I set her on it first thing in the morning, and she went! Yay! She didn't go any other time of day, but she went first thing in the morning three days in a row. She probably would have gone this morning if I hadn't been a bit lazy. We're on a later schedule for church now, so we tend to lay around a bit on Sunday mornings. Anyway, I'm hoping that she's on her way to potty training! Maybe I'll get a break from diapers!

Since Ailene Asked...

Here are some of the Tupperware products I love and can't imagine my kitchen without.
FridgeSmarts

These may not look like much, but they keep vegetables fresh for an absurdly long time. I have carrot sticks and cut celery in one in my fridge. They've been in there since the begining of December and they still crunch. I also especially love them for lettuce and other leafy things. The large one fits about 3 Romaine hearts. Anyone who finds lettuce turned to slime in the "crisper" drawer should invest in these-they will save you money!
The little vents on the end are how it works. Different veggies need different airflow. They produce gases as they sit, and if they aren't ventilated properly, they begin to break down. The vents keep the gases from building up and slow the break-down process. Each fridge smart (except the smallest) comes with a chart printed on the side to tell you how much ventilation your specific fruit or veggie needs.

Modular Mates (40% off this month!)

These are wonderful for organizing you pantry or cupboards! They all fit together in a "modular" system to save wasted space. The set in the picture is actually 50% off this month. All the others are 40%.

Rock 'n' Serve (25% off through Feb.)

These are frezer safe and microwave safe. They are great for leftovers or freezing food ahead of time. You can cook lasagne in the microwave in the large deep. I use them when I have more meat than I need. I just cook it all and store the leftover in the freezer. When I need it, it's already cooked.
You can check the prices on the Tuperware site. Let me know if you want anything!

Tupperware anyone?

So, I've been "selling" Tupperware (yes, just like your mom had-but prettier) since just before Leonora was born. Back in September, I finally got up the guts to ask someone in the ward to do a party for me, and since then have come to the realization that there are people in my ward who will actually pay money for a good product! Amazing! Anyway, I had a party yesterday. I'm still waiting for the hostess to get back to me about her order and a couple others who didn't make it to the party. I've decided that this is a good neighborhood to do parties in. This is my third here since October and I will have made about $700 so far. Which brings me to another thought... I might actually have to file taxes this year. Blah.

PS If you'd like any Tupperware, go to the Tupperware site and email what you want to me. That link on my side bar isn't working.

This Video is for You, Leonora

Swimming

In an effort to be more consistant with my blog, I'm going to post today. I don't like to post on days like today. But since I am lousy at journaling, and this is pretty much my only form of record keeping, I think I should give an acurate picture of my life, not just the pretty days. So... here goes.
Today is one of those days that I just don't want to do anything. I've been feeling really overwhelmed and just down lately. There's no one particular event that has caused me to feel this way now, it's just a build up of things. I keep thinking I'll have a relief from some of the stress, but it never seems to happen. So today, I feel like I've had enough. I just don't want to do anything... unfortunately, I have too much to do. I can't lay around in bed. Of course, laying around in bed probably wouldn't help anyway. Too bad I don't have a fairy godmother to come bibbity-bobbity-boo everything into perfection.
But then again, if everything was magically done for me, would it make me happy?
...
No, but I'd be able to stay in bed!

Yay for pants!

Yesterday, I went to Target and used a gift card we got for Christmas to get some pants. Some for me, some for Aaron, and some for Leonora. Here's Leonora modeling hers. The shirt is new too. $2.48 on clearance! :0

Check out this trailer!

The business of birth.
Okay, I just saw this link on another blog, and I am so excited! I love birth! Ha ha! That has to sound so strange to some people! I just get excited talking about my experiences with birth. It is just the most emopowering, exciting, emotional, painful, powerful, exhilerating experience I've ever had. Really, words can't describe it. If I could go back and change anything about my birth experiences, the only one I'd change would be the one in the hospital. Even then, I'm grateful I had my midwife there, and a doctor who respected her opinion and my needs. The only thing I would have changed there would be a nurse who didn't know me or understand my relationship with my midwife, and ended up questioning my choice and offending my midwife. Anyway, I digress. I am just so passionate about birth, and feel that women should be educated about it and empowered by it. So many women just take what they are given without researching or questioning it.
I do believe that hospitals and doctors are needed for SOME births. But the role they have given themselves goes far beyond the neccesary. And that is not just my opinion either. There are so many studies that back it up. That's why this film being made is so exciting to me! I hope it gets seen by a lot of people.

hair

I have a love-hate relationship with my hair. Really, I should be grateful to have thick, dark, full bodied hair, and I am. At least I'm grateful to have it on top of my head. It's everywhere else that I wish it weren't that dark and thick and lovely. So I'm always hoping to find a quicker, easier and less painful way of getting rid of the everywhere else hair. Anyway, a while back, I bought some wax for face and eyebrows. I've used the strip things before, but this said it didn't need any strips, just apply and remove. I had to let my eyebrows and such grow a bit before I could use the wax. Then I started to get nervous about this stuff. And my eyebrows got bushier. Well, I finally just did it. I think it turned out okay, but I'm never buying that stuff again. It cooled way to quickly. I had to keep re-heating it. So the search for something better continues.
This is the only thing I could find that could qualify as "before." As a bonus, you get to see my cute daughter trying on daddy's new headphones! Below is the finished product.

Okay, I did it.

In general, I have tried to leave Leonora's beautiful locks alone, but they were becoming a bit overwhelming to everyone involved. No matter how I tried to keep it out of her face, she always ended up with food stuck in it and hopeless knots every morning. She was constatly trying to pull her hair out of her eyes and, more recently, her mouth. So, I finally did it. I cut her hair. It was kind of a sad thing for me to do, but it seemed neccesary. Anyway, here are a few pics:
Before:

After:


A bit of hair that I trimed off one side. It was actually longer in the back, but I didn't think to save it until after I'd dropped the longer peices in the garbage.

Christmas

Well, we had a much bigger Christmas than we planned on. We have been given so much by those around us, I don't even know where to start. We have probably recived gifts and money from over a dozen families. Most was given anonomously. I don't think it was from anyone who checks my blog regularly, but just in case, Thank-you! :) Also, a special thanks to the woman in Walmart who pointed out the hole in the back of my pants. Yes, I knew it was there. I've been "planning" on loosing a few pounds before I bought new ones, but she inspired me to use some of the generously given money on myself. Yay for new pants! Anyway, here are some pictures-maybe even a video of our Christmas.

Boo! ha,ha, you didn't know I was here, did you?

Okay, sorry it's been so long since I posted. The above picture is part of the reason why. I smashed my finger! Yep, the car door got me. Do you know how many things you need your index finger for? Especially if it's on your dominent hand. Well, I don't either, but typing is sure a lot easier with it than without. (Sorry the picture is so blury. Taking pictures is also hard to do without that finger.)

Four Weeks (disclaimer:this may be depressing!)

Four weeks ago today our daughter Renee was born still. I wish more than anything that she were still here with me.

We finally got the results to the chromosome tests they did. Renee had Turner's Syndrom and was missing an X chromosome. Turner's Syndrom is not necesarily fatal, but can have a variety of health conditions that are. The combination of complications in Renee's case was. The good news is that there is a less than 1% chance of it repeating in a future pregnancy.

It doesn't really make anything better though. She's still gone.

From Stressed to Blessed

With everything we've been going through, Aaron has had a hard time being productive at work, and unfortunatly, his is not a job that you get paid for just showing up. He has to be able to sell cars-which is something he hasn't been able to do since the first week of October. We knew we would not be getting the usual paycheck on the 5th, which meant we didn't have money for rent. However, yesterday, the general manager at the dealership called Aaron into his office to ask how we were getting by without that paycheck. Aaron told them we wouldn't have rent money, and the gm said that he would take care of that.
We have been so incredibly blessed! A little over a year ago, I remember saying in church that when we do the things that God wants us to, we will be blessed and that things will always turn out better than they would have. At the time, I remember just trying to convince myself that we were doing the right thing. We had broken our lease to move to from Seattle to Sacramento with Aaron's parents. Leonora was only 6 weeks old at the time, and I was still recovering from her birth. I was emotional and very stressed about moving in with his family. Living there-even for that short time-was very difficult for me. His parents are good people, but I come from an extremely different background than Aaron. Even though we were in more or less the same situation when we moved to Utah, I was very grateful to be back at my parent's house. Since then, we've moved out, Aaron has changed jobs, and we've said hello and goodbye to another child. We've been through a lot. Now looking back, I wouldn't change any of the choices that we've made that led us to this point.
I'm so grateful to be near my family. I don't know what we would have done if we were anywhere else. Because we are here, we were able to use a burial plot that my parents had already purchased. It saved us money, and Renee is in a place where there will always be family. Aaron's work has been incredible. They sent flowers to the hospital and collected money to help out with things. And now they are paying our rent. I'm so glad Aaron is working there. The dealership he originally started at in St George would never have done all of that. Not to mention that they don't pay anything toward family health insurance. We have already payed the maximum out of pocket after everything that the insurance has paid. I can't imagine where we would be if we'd gone through all this without health insurance. I'm just so glad that we are where we are. It's not where we planned we would be.
Another thing we weren't planning was getting pregnant. In fact, I had tried to get an IUD before we moved from Seattle because I didn't want to worry about pregnancy. When that didn't happen, I was quite upset. Now I am grateful. Although I am devistated by the loss of our baby, I cannot imagine her being left out of our family! Renee's presence in our family has caused me to think differently about how we will plan our future pregnancies. I'm not saying I won't use any birth control, but I think we will be using forms that will alow us to make a decision when we feel it is right-rather than forms that require a doctor's visit or a certain amount of time to lapse.
Now, more than ever, I believe those things I was trying to talk myself into last summer. That God does have a plan for us. He knows the things that will help us grow into who we need to be. If we follow His plan, we will be blessed.