I'm trying to blog more often again. I know, I'm horribly inconsistent.

We are going out of town for a long weekend and all Leonora wants to do or talk about is packing. She wants to pack, pack, pack! while it's great to have someone around who is excited to help out, her help is not always very helpful. Isaac also loves to help and is even less helpful! Agh! Well, at least they are cute helpers! Leonora likes to pack her own clothes. She seems to thing she needs all of them. I've been trying to explain that where we are going will be cooler weather and she won't need all her summery clothes. We will also only be gone for 4 days, so we don't really need to bring her entire wardrobe! Haha! Isaac doesn't seem to care what he packs. He throws in just about anything: random socks, shirts, and Leonora's clothes that I just took out! He's such a happy little helper though! Hopefully he won't suddenly decide to start taking out everything that I'm trying to put in!

Saturday in the park

A few weekends back, we decided to get out of the house for some fun family time. I had also been wanting to get a new picture of the kids and decided to kill two birds with one stone (as they say) and took my camera along. I knew that the only chance at getting them all to sit still and look at the camera at the same time was to take pictures first thing...


And that even then, the odds were against me...


But we persevered until we got a couple good shots!



Once that was taken care of, we set the kids loose to play!

Fun Run!

I have been wishing I had pictures for this post. I should get into the habit of taking my camera with me.

I took the kids to our primary's fun run on Saturday. I wasn't really sure how they would do-especially William, who tends to be slow and often has difficulty running very far. But they were excited about it anyway. Leonora ran first with the other 3 and 4 year-olds. She was not the fastest kid out there, but she made the whole 1/4 mile and only stopped once when her friend fell. She's such a sweetheart-when she wants to be! She had to make sure that Courtney was okay, and then she finished her run. While William's group ran their 1/2 mile, Leonora got her drink and donut. William quickly fell behind the other kids. I wondered if he was going to make it all the way around, but he did great! One of the older kids ran along with him and kept him going. He slowed down toward the end, and was one of the last to finish, but he did it! I was proud of him. Then while I was helping him get his refreshments, Leonora disappeared. I started looking around for her, and realized she had taken off with the third and oldest group of kids. These kids were running a full mile. Of course she didn't keep up with them, but I watched my not-quite-four year old out there trotting along! She ran a full loop around the park-about 1/3 mile-paused briefly to give me the medal that she got for completing her race, and was off again! I cut across the loop and told her that the race was over now and that she could go play on the playground for a little bit. She cracks me up! This child has so much energy! I just don't know what to do with her! There were no special awards besides the medal that each kid got for completing the run, but if there had been, I think William would have gotten the "Slow but steady" award, and Leonora would have to get "The Energizer Bunny" award! heehee!

Anathollo

This is my moving music. The stuff I put on when I do the dishes or clean up the living room. I think it's fun, and sort of whimsical. In a world where most pop and rock songs are so bass driven and music has become extremely predictable and formulaic, I find this group particularly refreshing. Here are a couple of clips. Enjoy!



I love the clips of their live performances! I love how "real" they are. Not a lot of special effects or costumes, just a bunch of musicians sharing their talents and passions.

Teacher appreciation

Next week is teacher appreciation week for kindergarten. This week, they sent home bags for the kids. Each bag had a letter of the alphabet, and the kids were supposed to put in a gift starting with that letter. William got two bags. One was the letter "D" and one was the letter "W." We thought about what to send. A dog? a dinosaur? a donut? finally we settled on daisies. The bags won't be opened until sometime next week, so we opted for the non-wilting type-aka "fake." :) Then we had to come up with a "W" gift. All week, all I could think of was water. I know, not very creative of me. We joked that William starts with "W" and maybe we could put him in the bag! He didn't think that was a good idea though. Finally, we were supposed to turn in the bags today, and neither of us had come up with any good ideas. This morning, we were discussing it again. I suggested writing things (paper, pencils, etc.) or something white, but William wasn't excited about those. Then I had an idea! I asked William if he would like to put in a picture of him holding a thank you note for his teacher. He got excited about that! So after he was ready for school, we took a quick picture, printed it out (with the last of our ink! agh!) and sent him off to school! Hopefully his teacher will like it.

Thanks Saskia

Wow, where has April gone? This month has really gotten away from me.

My cousin Saskia gave me the Beautiful Blogger award... I think she wants me to post more! hahaha! Thanks Saskia!



As part of the award, I'm supposed to post 7 things about me. I've been thinking about this, and haven't really come up with much, so I'm winging it. Here goes:

1. I love to talk. But I was always a quiet kid. I know it seems contradictory. I enjoy intimate conversation-meaning, one-on-one or small groups. In large groups I tend to sit back and observe.

2. I would call myself intuitive. I don't really know how to elaborate on this one...

3. I love to crochet. I've thought about trying to sell crocheted things, but mostly I like to make things as gifts. I don't do many large projects. I've always found it more likely to get done if it can be done in a day or two. Or even better-an hour or two!

4. I love being a mom. Sometimes I feel like a complete failure at it, but I wouldn't trade motherhood for any other job or title.

5. I love gardening. Growing things give off such a positive energy. Plants make me happy. I would say that I need more plants, but I'm barely keeping the two alive that I have! William is fascinated by seeds and plants. I'd love to teach my kids about growing a garden. Maybe by the time Isaac is old enough to appreciate it, I'll have a place that I can grow a garden with my kids.

6. I'm a huge fan of natural birth. I know it's not always possible, but it makes me sad when women don't believe in themselves and the power of their own bodies enough to even give it a try. I also believe in breastfeeding. I am happy to say that Isaac is still nursing at 15 months and we plan to continue for as long as he needs/wants it. Not that I'm into the extreme extended nursing, but I'm in no hurry to ween him either.

7. Let's see... one last thing... well... hmmm... I told you I was winging this right? So, here's a random tidbit. My jaw pops and cracks. Yeah, exciting, huh? :D

So, I'm supposed to pass this along... I know some of you have already gotten it. Just be prepared, you might be getting it again!

Link to a giveaway!

My cousin Saskia recently started making and selling these cute dolls



and she's doing a giveaway!

You can read more about her dolls and enter the giveaway HERE. Good luck and have fun!

P.S. You can also visit her Etsy shop HERE, where she sells her dolls and these cute cloth shoes too!

Ponyo

So this week is spring break for William and Aaron. We don't have the money to spend on a vacation or even a day trip, so I was trying to think of fun "special" things to do with the kids. Since it has been raining for the entire break thus far, we have to stick to indoor activities. I thought, if we had the money, we would probably go somewhere and stay overnight. So I thought a "sleepover" in the living room would be fun. We pulled out pillows and blankets for the kids and popped popcorn and sat back with them to watch the new animated film "Ponyo."

Ponyo is a variation of the story of the Little Mermaid. She is a magical little fish/girl who is found by a human boy. The two of them form a fast friendship. They are separated when Ponyo's father comes to take her back to the ocean. Ponyo is such a funny little creature! She uses her magic to change into a little girl and find her friend. She is so silly and cute! If Leonora met Ponyo, I think they would be best friends. We were all giggling outloud at her excitement. The director, Hayao Miyazaki has a special gift for portraying children in true form. It was certainly a fun movie for Aaron and I and the kids. I was also pleasantly surprised that there is a reference to breastfeeding when Ponyo wants to feed soup to a baby. The mother says the baby is too young, but she will eat the soup and it will help her make milk for the baby. It's so rare to see breastfeeding portrayed in such an honest and simple way. It seems that most movies and tv shows like to turn it into a joke. Ponyo then insists on giving the mother more food "for milk." In spite of all her silly antics, she does want to be helpful. The themes are about being in balance with nature and loving each other in all our forms. The characters are lovable and realistic. The animation (as with all Ghibli films) is truly art.

After watching Ponyo, the two older kids camped out in the living room. Aaron and I were a little bit of party poopers and decided to sleep in our own beds! I think it's safe to say that Ponyo will be a new favorite for our kids.

Here's a trailer that shows some of Ponyo's personality:

Adversity

Maybe it's because I'm getting older. Maybe I'm just more aware. Maybe there's more heartache in the world today. It seems like everyday I come across more stories of distress, more pain, more grief. I feel like I've experienced my share of all of this, but when I look around and see others struggling with their own hardships, I sometimes think things aren't so bad for me. Maybe it's just that I'm not grieving anymore. I struggle with life's ups and downs like anyone, of course. It's just that now I'm through it, now that the worst things I've had to face are past, my own life seems much brighter. Now I find that most of my tears and worries are for others. Other mothers who have lost babies, the young mother who is now a young widow, illnesses-sometimes terminal-that never care how old or young their victims are, accidents, divorce, and other tragedies seem to be everywhere. Adversity is inescapable. Yet, I am living proof that it doesn't go on forever.

It's not as though I woke up one day and went, "huh, I think I'm all better now! What a great experience that was!" It was all very gradual. One day, I smiled, and thought it felt strange. But it became less strange as the phenomenon repeated itself. Then one day I laughed and remembered what it was like to feel happy. As time went on, I was able to visit with friends and family without constantly thinking of how things could have been different. Then one day I was surprised to discover that I had recovered and that things looked much better, but the change had been so gradual, I could not pick out a moment or day that things were suddenly better.

It was still a little while before I could feel like my own suffering served some purpose. I had faith that it did, but I couldn't even begin to fathom what that purpose was. Even now, I can't claim to fully understand the reasons for my own trials, but I have begun to see some purpose in them. Probably one of the greatest things they have given me is understanding. Sometimes it seems a little crazy to be grateful for understanding someone's suffering, but without that understanding, it is difficult to show compassion. It happens all the time where some well meaning individual makes things worse while trying to comfort someone who is grieving. Understanding leads to compassion. Compassion leads to healing. Healing leads to understanding. There was nothing more comforting to me than to feel that someone understood my pain.

Another comfort to me is that I have always felt that life has a plan. There is nothing that comes our way that doesn't have a purpose. Sometimes the reason is clear, but most of the time, it isn't. So we muddle through as best as we can until we are able to emerge from the fog and see things clearly again. When I think about this, I often think of my son William's surgeries. William was born with a fairly severe case of bi-lateral clubbed feet-meaning both of his feet were bent and turned inward and upward. We tried casting his feet for the first 10 months of his life to see if they could be manually forced to point forward. The casting helped, but not enough. So then there was surgery. He was only 10 months old for his first surgery and 11 months for his second (a follow-up of the first). He quickly healed and forgot those procedures. Two years later, he had another surgery. We knew it would be harder on him than his first two were, but took some comfort in knowing that he at least didn't remember the first time, and would have fewer fears before the operation. He happily went off to the operating room. Of course, the return trip was not so happy. So when he had to have a fourth surgery last spring, we knew it would be tough on him. We explained to him what would happen, and quickly saw his fear in his expression. We tried to reassure him that everything would be okay, and tried to answer his repeated "why's." Ultimately, it was difficult for him to understand our explanations. He couldn't understand that although he could walk, this would help him walk better. And we knew he could run, but this would help him run faster and trip less. His focus was only on the extreme pain and inconvenience of the surgery and subsequent recovery. Of course, we wanted to help make the experience as comfortable as possible, but we knew he was going to have to suffer and that his suffering was necessary for him to be able to improve and grow.

I imagine that this is similar to how Heavenly Father feels as He witnesses our suffering. He knows that the pains we have will help us to grow and change and ultimately bless our lives. Of course He does not wish for us to suffer, but he knows it is necessary for us to progress and improve.

It's still hard for me to view certain trials as a blessing, but I do feel that the things I have learned and the ways I have grown have been blessings. I know that who I am today is directly related to those experiences. It is true-adversity does make us stronger. It makes us kinder. It gives us more perspective and sympathy for those around us. It shapes our lives. So, as I watch those I know struggling through the metamorphic change that adversity brings, I try to help them. I know that they will need help to get through their struggles because we all do! But I also know that ultimately, they will be better for the trouble they experience. They may not know today or tomorrow or even next year what the purpose of their struggles is, but there is a purpose. God may allow us to suffer, but I believe that He does not let us suffer needlessly.

Prelude from Bach's Cello Suite No. 1

I've been wanting to post something about this for a while. Something deep. Something profound. But after a great deal of thought, there seems to be nothing that I can say that this doesn't already say for itself. So I will just say this: I love this piece. I think it proves wrong anyone who thinks that Bach's music is not emotional. And I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU_QR_FTt3E

Not Quite A Thousand Words

Saturday morning, I left my house to run some errands. As I left my front door, I paused a moment to breath in the uncommonly wet air-a residual of the previous night's downpour. The sun was breaking between the storm clouds and warmed my face as I walked to my car. It was a beautiful morning! As I drove over a small hill, a breath taking view caught my attention. In the foreground was a solid river of black rock. Behind the ancient lava flow, a red mountain rose from the desert floor. Large dark clouds hovered just above the red giant looking ready to release their heavy burden upon it. Some of the heavy clouds had fallen into small canyons forming misty pools that seemed to defy gravity. Along the steep face of the mountain, smaller bits of cloud clung like lost sheep perched on rocky outcroppings. What a glorious view! I regretted not having my camera with me, and thought to myself, that I should just carry it with me whenever I leave the house. I continued winding my way through the rocky landscape toward my destination, glancing up at the drifting clouds whenever I had a chance. I returned home as the sun was again being hidden by the gathering clouds. As I entered the house, my most urgent thought was to put my camera in my purse in hopes of never loosing the opportunity to capture such a scene again. Because a picture may be worth a thousand words, but my 250 or so words are just not quite the same as seeing it for yourself.